The Unimportant Shits You Bother To Read

Warning, don’t bother yourself reading this post since it’s only a test anyway. This is my first post and I’m just trying this out; so move along, nothing to see here. Shooo!! Away!

But…. hey, waiddafuckingminute. WHAT are you doing here? I thought you’ve been leaving already.  Whoa, you’re still reading this? Stubborn, aren’t you?

Very well, this is your last chance; STOP reading this shit or I’ll tell you the most disgusting stuff I’ve been thinking of lately.

(Sigh…) Alright, don’t say I didn’t warn you. See, one day I ordered spaghetti for lunch. Frankly, I had no idea WTF was going on but it took them forever to prepare my meal. Out of boredom, I started imagining things.

So while waiting, I imagined that the meatballs were actually made of human testicles. Yes, I said testicles. TES-TI-CLES. Scrotum. Testis. Balls. The things hanging around inside our sack (pardon the pun).

Of course the testicles should have been castrated freshly right before the cooking to preserve the taste, so I guessed there were some poor bastards squatting in the kitchen, waiting for their scrotum to be ripped out and served with my spaghetti.

I started to do the math, then. See, if the spaghetti was supposed to be served with ten meatballs, it would take five guys to make a serving. I believed it was a reasonable assumption, since most of us were born with a pair of testicles (unless we’re talking rare cases of "he-men" who were born with three, four, or even six testicles). So if it took five minutes to castrate each man, it would take twenty-five minutes to prepare my spaghetti; not to mention the time they need to cook the meal itself. Suddenly half an hour became a reasonable waiting time anyway.

The meatballs. Guess how many guys are eunuchized to make this?

But it seemed my imagination had gone too far, as I started wondering what the spaghetti itself are actually made of. Somehow it came to my mind that the spaghetti was actually a collection of tapeworms being bred inside our stomach. Don’t ask me how, but I was also sure those tapeworms were special-breed that requires to be harvested analy. Yes, being pulled out through the rectum. Of course, they *must* have included the fecal by-products as extra flavoring; otherwise my spaghetti wouldn’t have tasted that weird. Feces-flavored anal tapeworm, anyone?

So next time you order spaghetti for meal, you may want to take a peek of what actually happens in the kitchen. Who knows, you are lucky enough to see the castration process first hand. Alternatively, you may want to pull out the spaghetti yourself; right out of their hairy ass.

Well I DID warn you to skip this post, didn’t I?

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